I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
