when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
