we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
