And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
