If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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