goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
