shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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