At least make sure they are 18
Why
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
