We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
