We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
