sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
