he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
