Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
