What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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