I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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