Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This is the high leading the old right now
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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