12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
3pm strippers are depressing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
