Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
