Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
