They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
