I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
