Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
