I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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