i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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