I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How naked do you want me to be?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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