Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
