Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
