I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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