I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
