dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
