u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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