Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
