just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
