garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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