OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let's paint friendship bongs
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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