Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
