I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Green mimosas i think yes
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
