I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
