marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
