You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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