Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
