I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
