He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
