I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
