right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
