i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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