Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
