Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
