i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
