either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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