yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
